This year I am spending Christmas largely by myself partly by choice partly by circumstance. Other family members are all doing their own thing and it is easier to simply stay home. With the way I have been feeling of late it has sometimes been difficult to do anything, even the small things like going to the shops has been nightmarish, so driving for miles and miles for lunch … is just overly daunting.
I like this anxiety as much as I like the time of year and thinking that days are now lengthening comes as a small relief, though there is still a way to go before this boat is back on a even keel.
The tablets seem to be helping as does being abstinent from alcohol. Again that’s partly by choice, mostly via medication, sleeping tablets and anti anxiety drugs don’t mix with drink and the stuff kind of makes me depressed as well does nothing for my mood.
Perhaps it’s easier to stay on the wagon and drink Tea instead.
Anxiety and depression do strange things to you, the phone ringing really set me today, even though I know who was calling the noise of the thing was getting me so much I stuck my fingers in my ears and screamed at it. Should I have just pushed the cat off of my lap and picked the thing up, or just left it to ring? This I have been pondering for several hours on and off now and it’s kind of not helping to do so.
The DR. did say the tablets might make me more anxious to start with even if I do feel better (sometimes)